Quotes to Live By....or Maybe Not

[Squealer]

**Quotes to Live By...or Maybe Not***

***1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me
either. Just pretty much leave me alone. ***

**2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken
fan belt. **

**3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. **

**4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
can't be promoted. **

**5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone
else. **

**6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. **

**7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing
a couple of car payments. **

**8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile
in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a
mile away and you have their shoes. **

**9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for
you. **

**10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all
day. **

**11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it. **

**12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything. **

**13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the
windshield. **

**14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. **

**15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
half and put it back in your pocket. **

**16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. **

**17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and
a dark side, and it holds the universe together. **

**18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
one works. **
**19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your
lips are moving. **

**20. Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it. **

**21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. **

**22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill
and a laxative on the same night**

[Ducks be us]

#22 is kinda scary

I got my own...you cant live with em, and you cant chop em up and put em crab pots either

[Bullet]

Dont play leapfrog with a unicorn

[GADUCK]

Don't fry bacon naked!

[Anatidae]

One that has become fashionable as of late:

"None of us is as stupid as all of us"

and.....

"The only consolation in my pitiful existence is the knowledge that there is someone out there, who is more miserable than I am."

and on a positive note.........

"........... .......... ............ ............... ............

Oh well........

[Redhead]

"The more you do of what you've done, The more you'll have of what you've got" Zig

[JaMak84]

**23. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

[tombstone]

16, 19, and 21 need to be posted around my work place.

along with the saying we have all heard, "it is better to be thought stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

You wonder some days just how some people continue to exist.

[harper01]

" People that say Money want make you happy, Doesn't have any "

[JMCMILLIN]

those were great

[tobydawg]

More words of wisdom....


>> CHINESE PROVERBS:
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Virginity like bubble, one pr#ck, all gone.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who run in front of car get tired.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who run behind car get exhausted.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man with one chopstick go hungry.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who scratch @$$ should not bite fingernails.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
>> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>> Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

[Ducks be us]

He who goes to bed with itchy butt...wake up with stinky finger

[crow]

Optimist = It's always darkest just before the dawn.
Pessimist = It's always darkest just before it goes totally black.

[Deagle]

Bacteria is the only culture some people ever acquire.

[cwink]

He who goes to bed with itchy butt...wake up with stinky finger

That was the one I was waiting for..