EX WIFES

[Bigpoppa]

I am again replying, dont do anything crazy! It will be in your favor before a judge if you have bent over backwards to accomadate her. The laws in mississippi are set up in such a manner that even a sack of trash good for nothing parent has rights to a kid. So it sounds like you are a good guy , go with the flow and it will be tough but it will all work out. If your son is what you are worried about , screw a divorce lawyer, U need someone deep in family law. The trade off will be worth wahtever it takes! Again good luck!

[tunica]

Been there its painful even when your the one wanting out. There will be things she does you will hate her for and there will be things she will hate you for its the nature of the beast. Be careful make sure what your doing can't be used against you. Stay off of those pretty things and be a gentleman DONT give her ammo she will use it. Its hard but watch those credit cards call those companies and get the cards cancelled and reissued in your name only better yet close the accounts to further purchases. Expect anything in your name like cable utilities etc she is using to go unpaid, I had one child left in the house when I left and when it was over she had ran the cable bill up the utilities where in the rear anything she could of paid for she did not. As per our agreement...SO expect to get a hose job on somethings. I got lucky in the end she went after a cash settlement and forgot to go after My retirement pension. Hang in there.

[Scully]

A state of war now exists between you and your wife- she is the enemy so dont trust her. Do not sign anything. Be prepared for her to provoke you, so she can claim you are abusive ( remember she knows all your hot buttons). I hate that you are going thru it- it is almost more painful than a death in the family- with a death the mourning ends eventually, but you will have to deal with the X until the kids are grown. Try to keep a positive attitude and keep your cool. Good luck

[richard b evers]

if you need some one to talk to you know my number - Rick

[tombstone]

prayers sent. Keep cool and do what is best for your son. It sounds like you have made your mind up to do that. My parents were divorced as well. It never got ugly at all, but it still hurt. Even the best situation will be hard on him.

[dukhunter]

I didnt want the divorce but she wasnt willing to go to counseling and after the things shes done now i dont want nothing to do with her. I dont think i am gonna spy on her. That might be the most helpful but a lil unmoral for me. Ive lawyered up. He said she isnt intitled to hardly anything she has asked for. I am more worried about my son. It seems no like she is tring to keep him from me. Its every thing i can do to keep from snapping and just goin an gettin him. But thank god the house was in my name before we got married.

This morality issue you have about spying is the very thing that gonna get you messed up, You cant be friends not while the divorce is in court. She will probaly use anything you aginst you and if you don't do anything she will probaly make sh*t up, there are a couple of things that you need to make sure that are going to be in your papers.
1. Try to get joint custody where the child spends equal amounts of time living with both of you this is happening more and more and it means no child suport on your part.
2. If you cant get that be sure that there is a clause in the papers that says NO OVERNIGHT GUEST WHILE THE CHILD IS PRESENT.
3. Be sure and try to get every other weekend not the 1st and 3rd or 2nd and 4th its not the same thing and on months with that 5th weekend you'll just be up a creek, be sure holidays rotate every year and that means christmas too, and ask for 8 weeks during the summer not 6.
4. Ask that the Tax benefits be shared or swapped from year to year.
5. And this wont sound like much but it can break you in the long run, any medical bill that is incurred must be delivered to you by certified mail in no more than 30 days from date of receipt.

You may not get everything that you ask for but you dang sure wont if you dont ask.

Look out for yourself and don't do anything stupid and you'll be ok........

[Drakeshead]

About this cell phone and phone spying business, unless you have a court order or the phone is 100% in the name of the person doing the spying, it is against the law!

I have placed taps for the DEA and FBI.

The first thing that happens is I get a phone call from AT&T, previously BellSouth, security notifying me that on XXXX day such and such will be arriving at the office and XX:XX time. Before the person shows up I know the day, time and name of said individual. After I open the door I have to check their ID and then check the court order as to who's name and number is going to be tapped. If any of it is wrong they have to go back and get another court order with the corrected information.

Even if you go the illegal route and tap her phone, when you try to admit your findings in a court of law you will probably be arrested for illegal obtaining the information as well as having all of your findings thrown out.

Secondly, now you look bad and untrust worthy in the eyes of the court.

[Seymore]

Be cool when you talk with her knowing you are probably being recorded. This includes on the phone.

[jacksbuddy]

Glad you've got a lawyer. That is step one.

You've heard this before, and you are feeling it too, it hurts like he!!. When the person you love tells you that they don't love you any more and that they want to be rid of you. You know how bad it makes you feel, and you can compound it for the child.

Keep your head up. Keep your wits about you. Use your lawyer to help keep this professional on your end, because it is going to get even more personal and ugly before it gets better. But know that it WILL get better.

And if you even think that you may need help - to vent, cry, scream, drink, shoot something, or for anything else - pick up the d@mn phone and get help! Unfortunately, you ain't the first person to go through this, and you ain't gonna be the last. (Remember that maybe, just maybe, your experiences in this situation may prove helpful to someone else in the future who isn't as strong as you. Which may be one of the reasons that you are having to go through this $h!t in the first place.)

Good luck my friend, Our prayers are with you.

Psalms 23

[grnheadhuntr]

One of the biggest things I hear in my line of work about divorces is financing. If you are on the paper with her on any loan, be sure that it gets refinanced and you are taken off the paper. This is a minor thing that will come back to bite you for a long time. Wish more of my customers had realized this.

Since you own the house you are probably good. But vehicles can be a big problem. If you cannot get them refinaced without both names and you are stuck paying them, be sure that it is written that you will make payments directly to the lender and not write her a check and assume that she will pay it. She may use that as a way to hurt you.

As far as your son is concerned. I know it may be tempting, but try to refrain from bad mouthing his mother in front of him. Things may slip out and sometimes you may want to say something, but don't. This will do more harm to your son than to your ex. Even as he gets older, don't. I'm 29. My parents got divorced when I was 16. I still have to hear about cuts at my dad. No matter who's choice it is, let your son make up his mind about situations. If he asks you a question, give him an unbiased answer. It will work to your advantage.

Best wishes and good luck

[woundedduck]

"AAAAAWWWWW. YOU GONNA SHOOT ME IN MY PINKY TOE!" - Harlem Nights.

[Bankermane]

Divorce ends up all about the money and children. Time cures all . Several years from now you'll be better off and have it in your past.

[BAY KINGFISHER]

went through the big D back in 01....I sure wish I could tell you it has been easy, but unfortunately it is not. My son is 8 and lives with his mom....I have had a real tough time over the years finding out about his school, his health, phone calls, sports, etc etc...I suggest getting the best lawyer money can buy and get a very solid (not open to enterpretation) child support/ visitation agreement. Im not sure who old your child is but I would do what is best for you and him...no matter the cost...you will be happy in the future if you follow my advice..trust me...also "ditto" the comments on bashing the spouse, do this behind closed doors and never let your son hear you...stay clean, no drinking, no drugs, no women...protect your assets, the law in MS is usualluy 1/2 your debt 1/2 your assets what you owned prior to marriage is yours...this also depends on how long your married, quality of life you made her accustomed to if she didnt work, and infidelities.....I took my divorce to lightly and assumed that we would make the divorced life work for the both of us (what a laugh, as I look back on it) it only works for her schedule. Well, good luck.. and I suggest if its tearing you up real bad, get some counseling..

By the way anyone had any luck getting their kids after the fact...sure wish my boy would be home with me...

[blackhawk0718]

I really appriciate every ones support and prayers. I am gona take heed to it and hopefully with a luck and the lords blessings I want get the shaft. We have only been married a lil over a year and the boy is only 7 months. I just hope my lawyer is gona give me the time that I need. Any one know anything about Gil Baker.

[Greenhead22]

One thing is for sure, watch what you say to her over the phone. For all you know she may have a tape recorder on her end, and it can be used against him in court now days.

But.....this crap about "I want half" goes both ways.