Never underestimate redneck logic....
Never underestimate redneck logic....
A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO MISSISSIPPI TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.
WHEN HE GETS TO MISSISSIPPI , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!
HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION, AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!!
THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, AND POINTS AT A TREE.
"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A RED OAK, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER."
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION, AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW, AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION.
THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
"THAT'S A SWAMP CHESTNUT AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET."
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY. HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN.
THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, "BLACK HICKORY, 242 BOARD FEET, AT BEST."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS.
AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK, AND ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?"
"I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE, WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TREE.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN, AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S THE FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF, AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT, CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A $#!+ BEHIND IT!"
WHEN HE GETS TO MISSISSIPPI , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!
HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION, AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!!
THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, AND POINTS AT A TREE.
"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A RED OAK, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER."
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION, AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW, AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION.
THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
"THAT'S A SWAMP CHESTNUT AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET."
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY. HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN.
THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, "BLACK HICKORY, 242 BOARD FEET, AT BEST."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS.
AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK, AND ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?"
"I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE, WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TREE.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN, AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S THE FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF, AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT, CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A $#!+ BEHIND IT!"
Last edited by dukluk on Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- grnhed
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Re: Never underestimate redneck logic....



- msudawg8087
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Re: Never underestimate redneck logic....

If the birds are flying great, but if not, enjoy the time; at least you're not at work.
- richard b evers
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- DUCKAHOLIC
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Re: Never underestimate redneck logic....
it was me..............
Life's too damned complicated to make it too damned complicated
Re: Never underestimate redneck logic....
DUCKAHOLIC wrote:it was me..............
Yep, 'bout time you 'fessed up to sh!ttin behind that tree!!!

- crazyjoedevola
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