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jtdumallard wrote:my brothers attourny told him that if he were to get back in the sack with his wife then it would justify him taking her back and wipe away the affair in court. meaning that he/ she couldnt receive alamony(sp). does any one know if this is true. just something to think about bum. i would def lawyer up and be prepaired for ever she can throw at you

You're right there. You have condoned her prior action and forgiven her.

TJ, Man I hate to hear that for ya, If you need to relieve some stress, give me a shout and we can waste some ammo together, or better yet I can show you just how close I can get to SOB with my ghillie suit!!!!!! Just trying to cheer ya up bro. Prayers sent for you and your little girls. Let me know if you need me to show you what a 338 will do at 1000 yards!!!!!

Bum,

I am just getting around to this thread. Man I hate that your going through this. I don't know what to say, but that as I kid I went through this same thing. My dad strayed several times and my mom was always there to point it out to me.. Which was not good. You don't want to put the kids against thier parents. I had to go through that until the day my Dad died. It was always me in the middle and they were trying to prove who was the worst parent to me. No matter what happens don't let that happen. Yes she messed up, yes she is being selfish. But take the high road..

I know plenty of couples that have been married for 30, 40, 50 years and they seem like they have the perfect marraige and if you dig deep enough you would be suprised how many actually have had these same type of issues. So it can be worked out.

Also, remember to look on the bright side. You have 2 happy healthy little girls that you can hug and hold and watch grow up. If you need a place to stay, or someone to talk to or just need to go out and get a beer holler at me. I'll throw a few extra beers in that fridge, just in case.

Freakin Rough!!!!!!!!!! My comments were made assuming that things have gone all the way, to a point of no return.

I have been screwed over several times, not by a wife but a long term relationship."FREAKIN YEARS". You can try to forget but if things have gone to a certain point. I will not be able to be fixed. Unless you move to the middle of A desert!

If you try to fix this, everytime she walks out the door you will wonder if she is steppin out. Even if you know that she is where she told you she should be. When she is 5 min late because she needed fuel for the car, your mind will be on what culdesacks are between where she was and home. Dude, you will make your life misserable just thinking of the stuff that may be going on. When she doesnt answer her cell? YOu got it, the worst case will be in your mind! In my situations I was right on and I knew it, just didnt want to believe it.

If its gone too far you just cant go back like I know you want to.

Freakin sucks, I hate it for you and everybody else it happens to. I know how $#!+ the bettrayal feels.

Cut your losses, get a PI, act to her like everything is ok, let him do his job. Get some ammo if things have gotten out of hand, at least you will know for sure exactly what is going on.

If you dont get the PI you will drive yourself mad just wondering. Do not try to do the survellance (sp) yourself. You may see something you cannot control yourself over.

Having an affair at work is a big NO NO. Two people had an affair where I used to work and the scorned spouse filed suit against the employer. Both people ended up getting fired and I believe the employer settled with the scorned spouse. Something to consider when you talk with your attorney.

My Mom went through this a couple of years ago when my Dad flipped and had his mid life crisis. I told her the first question to ask the divorce attorney is if he was the meanest SOB in the State.

You can tell if she's not telling the truth. Her mouth will be moving. Don't trust anything at this point.

Sorry you are going through this but it is time to protect yourself and your kids.

Truely sorry to hear about it. It is never easy thing to hear about. Sounds like you did the right thing the first time and gave it another shot, it takes a big man to give that I shot. Once is enough to make a man go crazy thinking about it happening again, twice is time to cut your losses. Get a PI, get proof, lawyer up, and make sure you do everything you can to love and protect those kids of yours. Again, sorry to hear about the situation.

may God be with you and i never meet you but you seem alot nicer than i would be.

DukBum, I know your pain.Been there before,only no kids involved which is a major difference.It will work out for you in time.
The rest of you guys give good advice.I don't Duck hunt but I lurk around here for that reason and also for the BS sometimes,it does have a way of lifting your spirits....

Bum,
Go tell the whole story to his wife. See if she wants to get a little revenge.
Then me, Don Miller, Nawteek, and Rip em will whip his booty.

Dog's Eye wrote:I'm sorry to heat that !!

Adults tend to move on given enough time, children however, have a tendency to blame themselves for the break up. Make sure they understand a version of the truth that you and mom can both delivery consistently.

great , focus on the young ones and try not to let them see you two argue especially on things that concern them.

None of my buisness...but need to get this off my chest to clear my conscience.

Be careful believing her when she says she wants things to be amicable between the two of you. She has not proven herself to be too believable. She also knows you are on the ropes and a great guy. Just don't get the rug pulled out from under you whilst trying to make things easy for her. If she is willing to forsake you and your kids, then know she is capable of turning on a dime during a divorce.

Sorry if I am out of place. Just watch out for you and yours.

Sorry dude ya know i went thru the same chit ...they are always looking for greener pastures but just because a pasture looks greener dont mean its sweeter......holla if ya want to talk or need some advise......if ya cant work it out for the kids .......try to get her to agree on a 50/50 decree its the best route for everyone as a whole........let me know if i can help ya bro.......

I havent been married but was dating a girl I wanted to get hitched to very bad...Then my best friend caught her with another guy...I know how it feels on that aspect...Im no expert but from what i understand..you should be able to get more than average custody based on your first post.

An old wise friend once told me after my break up....you will always have that love no matter what happens from here on out your heart will always skip a beat at her name, you'll think of the wishes and hopes you had for each other;
but then one day you'll meet the one who is worthy of all the dreams had, and will be the one who deserves them, and will willingly share that part of her life with you.

It will take awhile and youll hit ups and downs but in the end it will work out. You have friends thats what they're here and a phone call away for. If you dont have a dog, it might be good to get one, theres a reason they call them man's best friend.

Bonehead wrote:None of my buisness...but need to get this off my chest to clear my conscience.

Be careful believing her when she says she wants things to be amicable between the two of you. She has not proven herself to be too believable. She also knows you are on the ropes and a great guy. Just don't get the rug pulled out from under you whilst trying to make things easy for her. If she is willing to forsake you and your kids, then know she is capable of turning on a dime during a divorce.

Sorry if I am out of place. Just watch out for you and yours.

Bonehead is correct....... bad as it seems she may prey on your weakness to work it out then get her stuff lined up and be gone anyway. I am sure if his wife gets wind of it and sh$t is about to hit the fan then he will either go back to his wife or plot with yours to let it blow over and get $$$ etc in line and then leave you with squat. Sucks but it happens especially to GOOD GUYS. Hate it for you your in a lose lose situation. Take her back and you might as well sell all your hunting stuff cause every time you plan you plan to hunt you will always be wondering what she is doing.

I'd take care of the kids, first....but, I'd put up with her crap for about a nanosecond!!!....sorry, but I just would never be able to get over the thought of her willingly laying spread-eagle with her legs in the air in some motel room, and that slimy bast&rd, porking the h&ll out of her!!!

Hope it all works out for you and those little girls!!!