Counting My Blessings
Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 7:38 am
Today would have been Owen's first Birthday. I have been dreading this day for months. I knew that it would be like reliving the steady string of bad news that kept coming for his 5 short days on Earth. But last night as I lay in bed with my 3 year old trying to explain to him why we were going to the cemetary to release a balloon this afternoon for Owen's birthday, and why Owen couldn't come down from Heaven and why we weren't having Cake for his birthday I started counting the blessings that I had.
I was so blessed that I acutally got to see and hold my son for those 5 brief days.
That his mother got out of the hospital in time to see and hold him also.
That I was there to see that little boy who was struggeling for life turn his attention to his Mom when she first spoke to him, knowing that he knew his Momma was there with him.
And that his mother and I were there to hold him and comfort him as he drew his final breaths and ascended into Heaven.
That I have a happy healthy child at home, because through all of this he has been what has sustained my wife and I.
Since Owen's death I have come to realized that even though we have lost a child, that God truly does not put more on you than you can handle. The pain of loosing a child can only be compounded by loosing all your children or by having to watch them loose the battle to a long illness. I watched the fear on my Dad's face as they wheeled him into surgery, knowing that he was going to be facing the fear of not making it out, and I don't think I could handle that same scenario with my Child.
Life is not perfect and life is not easy, but every night my prayers go out to those families that have lost children and I just can't imagine what some of them may be going through. Families like the Smith's who lost both of thier children in a fire, and the parents of Seth who recently lost his battle with Cancer. I just don't know how those families can get through.
I have always been the "cup is half full" type of person, but I know that my cup runeth over and one day I hope to hold Owen in my arms again.
I was so blessed that I acutally got to see and hold my son for those 5 brief days.
That his mother got out of the hospital in time to see and hold him also.
That I was there to see that little boy who was struggeling for life turn his attention to his Mom when she first spoke to him, knowing that he knew his Momma was there with him.
And that his mother and I were there to hold him and comfort him as he drew his final breaths and ascended into Heaven.
That I have a happy healthy child at home, because through all of this he has been what has sustained my wife and I.
Since Owen's death I have come to realized that even though we have lost a child, that God truly does not put more on you than you can handle. The pain of loosing a child can only be compounded by loosing all your children or by having to watch them loose the battle to a long illness. I watched the fear on my Dad's face as they wheeled him into surgery, knowing that he was going to be facing the fear of not making it out, and I don't think I could handle that same scenario with my Child.
Life is not perfect and life is not easy, but every night my prayers go out to those families that have lost children and I just can't imagine what some of them may be going through. Families like the Smith's who lost both of thier children in a fire, and the parents of Seth who recently lost his battle with Cancer. I just don't know how those families can get through.
I have always been the "cup is half full" type of person, but I know that my cup runeth over and one day I hope to hold Owen in my arms again.