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Good One

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:48 pm
by coonman
When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy...it's pretty darn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b#@!$ knows I'm smarter than her.

Re: Good One

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:55 pm
by deltadog
:lol:

Re: Good One

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:20 pm
by jacksbuddy
I LOVE IT!! Thanks.

Re: Good One

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:23 pm
by southernvaughan
:lol: this is the greatest thing ever!!!!!!

Re: Good One

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:55 am
by cwink
Heard it before.. But it is a good one.. :D :D :D

Re: Good One

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 8:17 am
by Greenhead22
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Good One

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 8:39 am
by brandonvet
:lol: :lol: Awesome!

Re: Good One

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:42 am
by marshmaniac
8) That's prettty good!

Re: Good One

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 8:18 am
by Bonecollecter1111
And thats when the FIGHT STARTED :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Good One

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:50 pm
by Denduke
Might work for girlfriend...Wives would prolly say, "Aw you really don't mean that...Do you want me to debit this stuff or charge it?" :evil: And still not get any. for beeing so clever... :shock:

Another approach... :wink:
When you go to bed ask if she is having a headache or is feeling badly. :?: If she says no, then ask her to give you a little bit... :idea: Works at least once, I know. And at older ages you gotta make every chance count!!!!! :roll: :lol:

Re: Good One

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:17 pm
by blackhawk0718
thats a good read