Thanks For the chain letter
Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 9:00 pm
To all my friends: Thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good
for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle
infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they
cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and
sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to
dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens
they contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are
nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that
are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I
will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't
look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick
girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny
that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special e-mail program.
* My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a
paid vacation to Disneyland.
* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain
that
I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200
people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you tomorrow at 5 PM.
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good
for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle
infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they
cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and
sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to
dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens
they contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are
nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that
are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I
will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't
look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick
girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny
that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special e-mail program.
* My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a
paid vacation to Disneyland.
* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain
that
I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200
people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you tomorrow at 5 PM.
